Being pregnant should be a happy time, right?

Friday, August 27, 2010 |

I hate that I am fat. I have hated it for years, and struggled with it for years, but it has never gotten to me like it is right now.

Today my pregnant belly "popped". All of a sudden it was sticking out a lot further than it was yesterday. It was a noticeable difference, something that pregnant girls are usually so excited about because they wait for the day that they finally "look pregnant". For me it is so heartbreaking. I can see that it popped, but I am not a cute skinny pregnant girl. I am a big fat pregnant girl and so the belly popping makes me look like an even bigger cow than I already did. It makes me so sad that I don't get to know what it feels like to look pregnant. Especially after waiting SO LONG for this to happen.

And even worse, I feel guilty for feeling this way.